1. Something I’ve never said out loud

    When I was twelve years old I confided in a friend of mine that I’d been raped. This person wound up not really being my friend, instead this person ran around telling everyone in our 7th grade class that I was a slut and I’d lost my virginity. I remember thinking about it, I’d lost my virginity. I let them continue thinking these rumors were true because it was easier to deal with than the truth. I didn’t want to fight about it and I didn’t want to tell my mother. I ducked under the radar and waited for the rumors to pass.
    The rumors never really went away. I was an over developed 12 year old girl in a world where boys were getting curious and the girls were finely tuning their catty abilities. I just kept my head down and went about my business, but kids are fucking mean. I was cornered in bathrooms by girls in my grade and shamed for my body. I was objectified by boys who barely produced enough testosterone to hold erections. I was so confused and I hated my body for what it was doing to my life.
    By 3rd grade I was in training bras, so by 6th grade I was a C cup, not a small C cup either, a full handful C cup. I didn’t know how to treat my body, I resented it for causing me so much grief, but I started to realize what I could so with it. I started exploiting it.
    Everything from there on out was for all the wrong reasons. I didn’t have a handle on my sexuality and I certainly wasn’t the most mentally stable. I am now, however, learning those important lessons they don’t teach you in school. The importance of loving my body.

    I occasionally come across one of the people who made my life hell when I was growing up, and my heart drops into my stomach and my body temperature rises and all I want to do is scream at them. I want to tell them about the years of therapy, and poor relationships and debilitating bouts of depression I suffered over the years. I want them to know that for years I believed that my body was a curse and that it was my fault I was sexually assaulted. I want them to know how much work it took to get myself to where I am now. How hard I work to love myself. I want them to just know.
    I want them to teach their children not to make the mistakes they did growing up.

    But I sigh and I move past it. I stifle that pride and I forgive them. I am a better person for it all, and I never have to go back. I will never stop loving myself again. Not a single person gets to take that from me.

     
  2. f-word:

    bacon foccacia sandwich with a fried egg, sausage, bacon, pulled pork, american cheese, and braised onions alongside garlic fries 

    photo by Renée S. Suen 

    (via hypohippo)

     
  3. (via hypohippo)

     

  4. reblog if your vagina glows in the dark

     
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  7. lolcuteanimals:

    Mini pigs in a dog bed.

    (Source: pinterest.com, via kyleblanc)

     

  8. Ask me stuff! I’m bored!

     

  9. Anonymous said: Have you ever uploaded nude pics to the internet?

    Never a full nude, no.

     
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